"Diagnosis: golden rush" novel by Krystyna Knypl, chapter 5

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Krystyna Knypl



The main research task faced by the scientists involved in the program titled BAT Study, or The Best Available Treatment, was to determine whether there were links between the protein profile, receptor structure, genes, and social health behavior of people. The aim, of course, was not some simple correlation, but to determine precisely which of the thousands of proteins coursing through a person's body carries the code that determines a penchant for excessive use of medical services.

Armia Praga
Armies of dedicated fighters will fight hand-in-glove for the New Wonderful World

In the first stage of the study, all biological samples, carefully collected for 50 years in the Ameerland Medicine Study laboratories, were reviewed and compared with the list of reports of visits to doctors. Reporting more than three visits per year was taken as the threshold for increased use of medical advice. Non-reporters and infrequent visitors were quickly weeded out, as they were not a research target.

One thousand five hundred residents shying away from medical services were excluded from the five thousand baseline samples, and all attention was focused on the 3,500 regulars at the doctor's surgery. All possible systems, proteins, sequences, bonds, and chemical rings were analyzed. Time passed and at one point it seemed to everyone that nothing interesting could be found or determined. The chance came to the rescue. It was decided to take one last look at the spectrophotometry data. On a further review of the results, it was found that in many cases an additional, hitherto undescribed band could be seen. The structure of this band was very intriguing and it was suspected that the clue led to changes in one of the amino acids, specifically tyrosine. The findings looked interesting, but it was necessary to thoroughly analyze the samples using a more detailed protein structure imaging program.

Multiple sequences in successive patients were viewed in 3D presentations. The researchers' attention was drawn to the paler fragments where tyrosine was incorporated. This phenomenon occurred in patients who frequently visited their doctors. It was agreed that the next phase of work would be to decipher the lifestyle of tyrosine holders with pale blue fragments. Many facts had to be established - what they did, what they ate, how they spent their leisure time. The research dragged on.

Meanwhile, in the flats of the monthly magazine "Modne Diagnozy", the holiday relaxation was followed by a period of intensive editorial work. The Managing Editor worked hard to improve Matilda's texts, adding commas, hyphens, semi-colons, and other fine details. Without them, the texts would be tasteless, like any dish without salt or pepper. They seem like little things, but they add so much! If the editorial team wanted to introduce property separation, the Managing Editor's property would look like this: ;.......,//////-----(((((())))),


Sarmalanders await entry to the Institute for the Verification of Medical Diagnoses

and Matilda's would be only the words that are between these stamps! The commas in the texts increased by the minute until noon arrived. 'How time flies, it even gallops,' thought Matilda, and turned on Sarmaland's famous To-Nie-Ten TV station. As she waited for her texts to be finalized, suffering the process of fine-tuning by the Managing Editor, she temporarily had no pressing editorial work to do. The announcer announced the broadcast of another important event in health care.

Swiat w twojej glowie

Mental maps of the inhabitants of the New Wonderful World were created

The clocks throughout Sarmalandia punctually struck noon, followed by the sounding of the bugle call from the Mariacka Tower. After the last sounds of the bugle, Minister Bartolomeo Karierra-Nieuwierra, dressed in paramilitary garb, appeared on the television screens and began to speak.

Dear Prescribers of Tablets, Rectal Suppositories, and Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, and Intravenous Injections!

The fight continues on all fronts and all routes of administration. The steps taken by the ministry serve to preserve the basic rights of the Sarmalandia patient. The foreign patient must take care of himself because he does not vote for us in the general election. We get nothing out of him. Costs only. 

All momentous reforms will continue under conditions of order, factual discussion, and financial discipline. This also applies to the reform in the prescription of tablets, rectal suppositories, and injections. I do not want to make promises. We have a difficult period ahead of us. For tomorrow to be better, today it is necessary to recognize hard realities, to understand the need for sacrifices. One thing I would like to achieve is peace. This is the basic condition from which a better future should start. We are a sovereign ministry. So we must emerge from this crisis with our strength. With our own hands, we must push back the threat... At this difficult moment, I turn to ournbest allies and true friends:

Dear Friends,

Stay shoulder to shoulder with us. We greatly appreciate your trust and constant assistance. The confidential alliance with the President of All Presidents is and will remain the cornerstone of our raison d'etre, the guarantee of the inviolability of the budgetary limits. Sarmalandia is and will continue to be an enduring link of the Valor Pact, a reliable member of the social community of nations...

The hand that rises against our reforms, we will chop off along with the stethoscope!

And if that doesn't work, we'll pacify it with a sedative injection administered with a blunt reusable syringe. So help us, God's Hypocrite, for you seem to believe in him, Dear Friends of the Brother Offices of the Bato Doctors!
- Wow, what is this time - waster? - shouted Minister Bartolomeo Karriera-Nieuwierra suddenly at full throat. - Help!!! Who maliciously planted this text on me???? Start the search immediately! Immediately!!! Unfortunately, the unknown perpetrators scattered in all directions, as is their custom. In addition, they ran off on one leg!
And how do we find them now and punish them principled?
- Mrs. Wyborowa! Please come to my office immediately! You have joint ownership of this mishap, honorable lady! Dismiss me and with your nose to the ground track down the villains.

- Yes, sir - squealed Mrs. Wyborowa and ran off in all directions with dedication...

As it soon turned out, Minister Bartolomeo Karierra-Nieuwierra's speech opened up many fronts in the fight for a better tomorrow for the Sarmaland patient. The combative atmosphere prevailing in the medical sector brought to mind the Battle of the Great Mountain, the anniversary of which was fast approaching. Numerous media decided to celebrate this important event. Matilda was invited to a friendly TV station called TV Revelation. The combative atmosphere did not go unnoticed by the users of www.penicylium, who cheered Matilda into battle by shouting at her on the forum.
- Bang your fist on the table and see if the scissors will be heard! - cried the virtual, tireless warriors.
- Brothers and sisters in Asklepios, there are glass tops in the studio. 'I can't damage property, I'll cut myself and they won't invite me again,' Matilda remarked self-consciously.
- Put on a wet T-shirt and don't let anyone get away with it, and preferably get drowned in kisel and fight to the last batter! - shouted one of the heated participants.
- Brothers and sisters at Asklepios, in the studio only serve drinks such as water or coffee. They don't have gels. If I've drowned myself at home in that gelato, by the time I get to the studio, it's all dried up and nothing will come of it.
- Shout as loud as you can! - advised participants in virtual protest rallies.
- Brothers and sisters in Asklepios, there are glass tops in the studio. 'I can't damage property, I'll cut myself and they won't invite me again,' Matilda remarked knowingly.
- Put on a wet T-shirt and don't let anyone get away with it, and preferably get drowned in kisel and fight to the last batter! - shouted one of the heated participants.
- Brothers and sisters at Asklepios, in the studio only serve drinks such as water or coffee. They don't have gels. If I've drowned myself at home in that gelato, by the time I get to the studio, it's all dried up and nothing will come of it.
- Shout as loud as you can! - advised participants in virtual protest rallies.
- Brothers and sisters in Asklepios, the host of the TV show has good hearing, and I don't feel the need to emit shrieks during the recording - noted Matilda.
- Be like a volcano and erupt every once in a while, spewing forth clouds of steam, lava, and ash - exhorted @clinical beetle at full throat. The poor guy had stumbled into the forum after a full day of shivering behind his Proforessa Dominessa. Not only was he shuffling along, picking at his feet, but he also had to endure critical remarks about his medical knowledge.


@Clinical Beetle

Every once in a while, the Proforessa would pick up her shoe and position it in the "completely trample him" position right over the head of the poor @ClinicalBbeetle. She was about to trample him into a pancake and send him to a yogurt wholesaler for milling to replenish the cochineal red supply but made up her mind at the last minute. And where am I going to find another poor boy? - she thought and pulled the shoe back. Frustrated, all twitching and exasperated, he raised his eyes shyly, for the first time that memorable day. He put out his feelers and wandered them, tentatively, millimeter by millimeter, moving his gaze higher and higher, bolder and bolder. No one protested. He caressed the sweet dimples on the lateral side with his feelers and moved boldly to the medial side. Once again, he boldly glared upwards. Still, no one protested. At the very thought of what else he could do until the blood boiled inside him and clotted intravascularly, as blood does when boiled. The entire beetle homeostasis was in ruins in an instant. Luckily for the subsequent course of events, a natural anticoagulant cascade was set in motion in the jittery body of @Clinical Beetle. All trans-membrane ionic transports sent hosts of molecules into battle, activated proteins, and humoral substances. Circulation patency was returning.

Ha, if that's the case, we can continue exploring the area he thought and began once again to run his legs and feelers. Still, no one protested. God, does that mean I can go further? And further still? As far as... - the heart of @Clinical Beetle was rumbling like crazy. A millimeter at the top, two. The feelers were exploring. How about I explore the other side like this? Hmm, too far there! I stick to the route once taken. The feelers reached this rippling thicket and immersed themselves in an endless delight. God, how many sweet variations to disguise with tireless feelers! And all this is available to me? I can hash, slither, climb, and plummet down from the summit in an endless immensity of lose-it-all-ness.

Duzo nas

Many Sarmalanders suffered from the lack of access to a doctor's stamp, and they formed the patient organization "Much of Us"

- Help!!! Rip me apart! - he moaned, sinking utterly into the abyss of pinkness. He was sinking, falling, sinking into nothingness without end... After some time, his strength was exhausted, and he came to his senses. He crawled out of the pink recesses of pleasure and, having recovered a little, began to contemplate his future.


Inaugural lecture at the Faculty of Refundology

After careful consideration, he decided that he would practice the parade step with his feelers on the marshy ground. He wanted to grow into a great Beetle, the Scarab of Egypt. - One, two, left! One, two, left! The Beetle is crawling and singing a song - he intoned cheerfully. He contemplated a renewed exploration of the pleasure grounds. How many good things were there! And ripples, and hollows, and smells beyond forgetting. And all this was within reach of his feelers, his feelers Until now, never in his entire life had something so thrilling happened to him. He did belong to the large family of Sarmaland Beetles, but all signs of behavior indicated that he was of the subgroup of Deerflies (Lucanidae), whose fate by definition is not interesting. Some researchers suggested that it was perhaps of the subgroup Sprouting (Apionidae), in other words, it was an ordinary sprout.

This did not sound good! Although the considerations were supposedly scientific, after all, he was a clinician that ho-ho, and maybe even more, and he valued the scientific approach by definition, there was some minimalist suggestion in these considerations. And on top of that, Proforessa Dominessa still had him down as a Cucujiadae, while he felt he was a proud descendant of the Beetles (Scarabeidae). Admittedly, he had once scored an affair with a Ladybird Two-spot, but what an affair that was in the face of the ocean of pleasure that engulfed him during his recent trek to the peaks!

Seul 4

 The day-to-day work of the medical staff at Proforessa Dominessa's ward

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Krystyna Knypl

Diagnosis: golden rush

2011 / 2013