"Diagnosis: golden rush" novel by Krystyna Knypl, chapter 9
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- Nadrzędna kategoria: ROOT
- Kategoria: Artykuły redaktor naczelnej
- Opublikowano: środa, 20.09.2023, 07:48
- Odsłony: 1398
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Krystyn Knypl
CHAPTER 9. THE FORGOTTEN VACCINE
It was a cloudy November day and everyone was wandering around the lab in a miserable mood. It was supposed to be such a hit, but it turned out to be crap - thought more than one member of the research team.
Since there was nothing special to do, laboratory technician Rita Beorg decided to do some housework, including going for vaccinations with her child. She entered Professor Lenton's office to ask for a day off.
A ribosome produces a protein using mRNA as template
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protein#
– Mr.Professor, I have to vaccinate my son, can I take the day off next Friday? – she asked. – Yes, yes, of course, take the baby for vaccinations – agreed the professor. – We don't have anything special to do at the moment anyway. What will he have vaccinated? – he said to the girl heading towards the exit. – Combined vaccine, according to the vaccination calendar, without any delays – she replied. – Has he already been vaccinated with Muti Vir-Virr? I remember my younger sister wasn't feeling very well after the vaccination, Lenton said. – Muti Vir-Virr, what is that? I haven't heard of it, I don't think it's on the mandatory vaccination schedule now, Rita replied.
– Well, I don't follow it either, I just remembered that something happened to my younger sister after the vaccination and that's how it stayed in my mind. Moreover, vaccination sets change from time to time. Go to your baby and be well. After the lab technician left, the professor asked himself: What happened to Muti Vir-Virr that we don't hear about him now? Has it fallen out of circulation or has it been improved and does not kill children after vaccination? I think I must have been on a scholarship at Panestralia back then, because I have some gap in my memory about it.
Travel to Panestralia
He entered the phrase "Muti Vir-Virr" into the search engine. A huge number of links popped up. Wow, what rich documentation and I know nothing about it! He opened each page and with each click his eyes got bigger and bigger. And that's history!
The documents showed that just three years after the introduction of the Muti Vir-Virrem vaccination, a decrease in the incidence of all viral infections was observed. Further years only confirmed the excellent effectiveness of the vaccine against all viral diseases that have plagued humanity for years. It was a reason for joy, but not for everyone, because the manufacturer of the Muti Vir-Virr vaccine patented its invention for twenty years. This meant a lean time for all producers of other vaccines against single viral diseases. This is unacceptable!
Efforts had to be made to return to the old vaccination schedule. A few symposia, some reports questioning the effectiveness of Muti Vir-Virru, a few financial injections for very important people and after a few years of presence on the market, the matter was settled. Muti Vir-Virr was hailed as a dangerous vaccine due to the content of two heavy metals, and that's the end of the problem. The topic was sidelined and Muti Vir-Virr was excluded from mandatory vaccinations. Have we checked the impact of vaccinations on TCER polymorphism at all? Wait a minute, Lenton glanced over the columns of correlated factors. There was not a single vaccination among the correlated factors, and Muti Vir-Virr for sure! Well, that's a nice story! We have to start analyzing it tomorrow, he said.
The next day, Professor Lenton was in the laboratory before seven. He turned on the computer and the coffee-making equipment. The two devices in his office were almost coupled together. He looked over the correlation calculations for the factors under study once again. In fact, the analysis of vaccinations performed by patients in terms of the impact of this intervention on TCER polymorphism was forgotten. He asked the person responsible for the flow of data from the Ameerland Medicine Study to include all information about vaccinations performed among study participants.
After two days, he had all the data he needed. Now statisticians should deal with them. The calculations were completed in less than a week and the results were sent to Lenton. Regardless of the statistical method used for analysis, the results were always the same. The grandparents' generation did not show any polymorphisms and the use of medical services was low. There was a large group in my parents' generation where TCER was almost the rule. Frequent medical advice was also a rule. Then everything disappeared in the next generation. He sent an email to Graham Bohner informing him that they needed to discuss the matter together. Why did the parent generation group from the Ameerland Medicine Study have such a common TCER polymorphism? They met for lunch to discuss directions for further exploration. They both felt they were close to discovering the cause of the observed variability.
At the other end of the corridor of the "Modne Diagnozy" editorial office were located the flats of the "Unpopular Weekly". On duty just now was the editor.actress Ivana X. - a name unknown to any self-respecting editorial staff. She looked at the monitor, clicked on the mail - nothing was happening. Around noon she felt something stir. No, not in the computer, but inside the body of the red-actor, or as some said, red-actor. It twitched a second and a third time, with absolutely no intention of stopping. From the throat it passed through a chest adorned with clinging breasts and settled in the abdomen.
“Uchu-chu-chu", I'm sitting in a certain belly,” SOMETHING said and crouched in an unidentified nook of the insides. When the actress-editor was wondering what it could be moving through her body, the phone rang unexpectedly. The crouched SOMETHING seemed to have accelerated and began to travel through the body at a faster pace. She didn't even have time to answer the ringing phone. What could it be? – the editor-in-chief was concerned. Repeated searches for various associations and descriptions of the ailments experienced did not bring any answers.
The distinguished editorial chaplain, who was passing through the corridor, greeted the editor and politely asked: – What good things do you hear from the dear editor? – Oh, Reverend… I have a problem, SOMETHING is moving inside me and I don't know what it could be. I've looked everywhere and nothing suits me. I googled all the organs and nothing. – And did you search for "wandering uterus"? – No… Reverend, do you think it could be the uterus??? – the red-actress asked, beyond frightened. “Medicine knows such cases,” the reverend said mysteriously. The editor-in-chief, the actor, entered with a trembling hand the password suggested by the reverend and they both immersed themselves in reading... It matched word for word, everything to the letter. What to do? What to do? There was a recurring question in both of their minds. After a short discussion, they decided that it was impossible to stop the wandering of the uterus without going to the hospital. Regardless of the late hour, they rushed in the Reverend's limousine to the nearest hospital emergency room, where they arrived out of breath just before midnight.
In the first attempt, they bounced off a tightly closed door. So they energetically started ringing all the bells and punching the armored glass that separated healthcare providers from their benefactors and sponsors of their studies. – Open, open… – they shouted at the top of their lungs. - Help! Help! After a long while, an Empathetic Paramedic appeared and opened the door to the editorial team eager for medical help. – Let's go to the horse rider on duty! – they shouted simultaneously. “Please sit down and search your pockets for your latest insurance document,” the Empathetic Orderly ordered phlegmatically. - What??? Insurance??? We need help here, not showing what we have and what we don't have in our pockets! Please get us in touch with a doctor quickly! – First of all, we will direct you to the appropriate group… what's wrong with you… what? – said the Empathetic Paramedic. “A wandering uterus, according to the Reverend,” the red-actress blurted out – Wait, wait… – muttered the Empathetic Paramedic, leafing through the latest guidelines of the National Brother Payer. – What do we have here?…
There is… a ruptured uterus – we then give a red sash to the patient; abandoned uterus – decorated with a yellow sash; all other uteruses not classified above – receive a green sash. In accordance with the instructions, he girded the red-actress's chest with a green sash and walked away with a step reminiscent of the famous parade step on marshy ground during military studies classes. Meanwhile, Ivana Unexpectedly, it turned out that after dealing with all the people wearing red and yellow sashes, the quota allocated for cases of uterine diseases that day had ended. The on-duty team, in accordance with the guidelines, prepared documentation for the National Brother Payer.
The units banded with green sashes had no chance of helping today. The Reverend nodded his head at the futility of fate and temporal organisational solutions. Being a resourceful man, he suggested visiting a well-known uterine healer or using the Formula 1 service. The service was called, but unfortunately the price of the service was beyond the paying capacity of the red-actor Ivana X.
All that remained was the hope that menopause would relieve Ivana of her uterine suffering. The Ministry of All Patients has been working hard for the benefit of Sarmaland's patients, but one has not yet been born who would be able to satisfy all. Maybe he wasn't born, but you have to try," remarked the Minister of All Patients.and ordered a search for a new image for the Ministry. Since the sidelining of Mrs Wyborowa Wizerunkowa, he has personally created his media image. After a very stormy meeting with trusted advisors, it was decided to rename the Ministry of All Patients as the Ministry of Good Decisions Only.
A decision made in the right ministry, in the right aura, has a completely different stature than some random and ill-considered proposal by Ms Wyborowa Wizerowna.
The first legislative initiative of the newly established ministry was the Act on not expressing hasty opinions, which was to be an integral part of the medical act package. Doctors, especially the old ones, tended to give opinions on everything, review it, consider it from different angles. The worst thing was that they called a council every time and discussed it even 24 hours a day! Such a disorderly exchange of free thoughts could not lead to anything good. Not expressing hasty opinions did not solve all the problems regarding treatment. Patients obtained drugs in various ways - they forced doctors to prescribe more and more expensive prescriptions by request, deception and threats.
Everything has to be controlled, checked and supervised. You can't let anything go, and under no circumstances should you let doctors decide on their own. The Minister of Only Good Decisions was losing his mind, wondering what else could be done to put an end to this electoral laxity. During a routine Thursday staff meeting, he asked Mrs. Wyborowa Wizerunkowa a last-chance question: – Do you have any new idea that could put an end to this laxity in reimbursement among horse riders?
– Eeeee… uh… this… aaaa maybe… by… yes – Mrs. Wyborowa Image replied in full sentence. – Well, you're of no use! I'm firing you irrevocably and this time for real, not for PR! Goodbye forever! Please return your mobile phone to the office and take the tram back home! You are no longer entitled to a company car!!! – shouted Minister Bartolomeo Karriera-Nieuwierra, known in Poland and abroad for only good decisions. He sipped from a can of a drink that cleared his mind and warded off the specter of hypoglycemia that always haunted him when he fired someone from work, then delved into the pile of pleading papers that various associations had thrown at him. Or maybe we could delve deeper into these reimbursement structures... Look for some criminal connection with this Bad Pharma... there must be... some connection... if they produce these drugs, they get something out of it... they must have... well, it can't be that they had nothing... Hours passed, more cans of lightening drink landed in the waste bin under the ministerial desk, and the ministerial mind was still immersed in darkness and decision-making powerlessness. Due to the lack of evidence for a controlled crime, the minister decided to look for other ways to deal with the problems. After much consideration, he decided that the classic solution would be the safest. After all, it worked so many times, it should work this time too! – he said to himself, to console himself. I'll blame it all on those greedy croakers. I will say that their salaries eat up the medical budget and at least someone will be responsible for the financial shortfall.
Exhausted by the loss of energy, he managed to allocate what was left of it to write an application for a special bonus for himself for his services to the health of the nation.
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Krystyna Knypl
Diagnosis: golden rush
2011 / 2013